TheySaidThat

Mar 1, 2006

New semester = New quotes

- "I didn't really want to listen to P Funk, it's what happened to be in there." - My mom, explaining the background noise over the phone.

- "The teaching reflects 'I'd better keep moving before my ignorance is exposed'" - Prof Sutton

- "What could I say that hasn't been said before and how would I know that it hasn't been said before without spending the rest of my life reading this stuff." - Prof Sutton re: publishing on Shakespeare

- "Think about the guys you liked when you were 13. Then think about being married to them. Eeeeew yuck." - Fran re: Romeo and Juliet

- "No cutesy slang. We don't need Polonius sounding like, I don't know, Eminem." - Prof Sutton

- "This is Wisconsin, we're used to this sort of shit." - Crystal re: snowstorms

- "You don't have to have a magic potion to wake up next to an ass" - Prof Sutton re: A Midsummer Night's Dream

- "Gosh you're pretty as a woman, but you've got this penis so we're not gonna have sex." - Prof Sutton re: Sonnet 20

- "You might thing 'two servants, that's not bad!' that's two more than I have currently (unless you count my husband)." - Prof Haynie

- "If you actually had a 16 year old and said 'Go marry a 35 year old' it woudl be kind of wierd...and illegal." - Prof Haynie re: Sense and Sensibility

- "So you understand what happens when you leave a bad marriage: leave -> prostitute -> death" - Prof Haynie

- "She's a slut and she's retarded. How does this go over for you...someone making an excuse for having sex with a teenage girl." - Prof Haynie

- "Parts of the sentence aren't rubbing up against each other in unseemly ways." - Prof Haynie

- "'...portion is small...' no, that doesn't mean her *gestures to chest*" - Prof Haynie

- "Try to get past the hats or you're not going to see anything but the hats." - Prof Haynie re: old film of Pride and Prejudice

- "Jane Austen is not one of those exclamation point, exclamation point, exclamation point, smiley face writers." - Prof Haynie

- "I think of like, elderly people when I look at canned fruit." - Michelle

- "Sara Lee is devious but they make great pie." - Michelle

- "Sometimes you'll pick one and you'll be like this is disgusting, I think horses eat this." - Michelle re: whole grain cereals

- "That's what's wrong with that sentence, you shouldn't write like that." - Prof Desch

- "It's bad enough you said he smoked pot with a priest." - Prof Desch re: Mollica's dad

- "Being in the media, I can say unfortunately they've become more sensationalist. They don't really report things as fairly as they used to. They take sides on political issues." - Prof Desch

- "You mean I have to tell you you're writing something interesting?" - Prof Desch

- "Most people that stay in Rhinelander all their life end up drunk and divorced." - Prof Desch

- "Shelley is lightly frosted." - Tom, rewriting 'Shelley's a flake.'

- "I can use the internet too. Something called Google." - Prof Jeffreys re: plagiarism

- "You can't say 'Oh those people are crazy because they don't know the difference between unicorns and cats'." - Prof Jeffreys

- "I can pretend like she's not there and pretty soon she'll start biting. She acts so we know she's real." - Prof Jeffreys, about his cat

- "When I'm in jail, the walls are actively present." - Prof Jeffreys

- "Just because something has a soul doesn't mean that you shouldn't kill it." - Prof Jeffreys re: insects

- "If love's real, then how can you get it from chocolate?" - Samantha

- "Today people don't like to talk about angels, so we talk about aliens." - Prof Jeffreys

- "Philosophers like to get all wierd with logic." - Prof Jeffreys

- "Very much a part of the sense of being Polish is being beat up by everybody else." - Prof Jeffreys

Posted at 01:07 am by icantdance
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Nov 16, 2005

English Classes are the best...

   - "If you don't have the money you can't do it. Well, you can with the whole credit card thing which will send you to hell." -Prof Haynie

   - "Yeah, but she can't actually have sex with him without him there." -Prof Haynie re:Middlemarch

   - Prof Haynie: Middlemarch will never really go away...
     Student: Middlemarch residue?

   - "It's not like Dickens where it's trying very hard in an almost pathological way to put you right there next to the character." -Prof Haynie re:Far From the Madding Crowd

   - Prof Hall: Stuff happens between Tuesday and Thursday.
     Crystal: Like Wednesday?

   - "You wanna know why I believed in the tooth fairy? Cause he brought me money for my teeth!" -Prof Hall

   - Student 1: Maybe he wanted to get Guinevere in the Bedivere.
     Student 2: You should be a poet.

   - "Hitler didn't make it cause he wasn't as cool as Arthur." - Prof Hall

   - Prof Hall: Never let your enemies cut your hair.
     Jenny: ...or your mom.

   - "If you've got a 52inch waist and you're the king, you don't have to wipe your bum." -Prof Hall re:Henry VIII

   - "That's a great answer, Casey. That's just BS but it's good." Prof Hall

   - "They may not be poetic, they may not be French, but hey, uh, that's alright." -Prof Hall

   - "I used to try to use John Cusak pickup lines. They hardly ever worked." -Prof Hall

   - "Watermonsters aren't grails" -Prof Hall

   - "So Owein is Harry Potter, right." -Jennifer

   - "Something about women getting animals or pieces of them, it's just a little bizarre." -Prof Hall, re: granting the head of the white stag to the fairest lady

   - "Are you calling Jesus a coward?" -Nick

   - "This may be the mother of all cauldrons...the cauldron from the otherworld." -Prof Hall

   - "I could tie it to Harry Potter." -Casey, re:a unicorn

   - "It's an evil unicorn, it's not a jewel." -Prof Hall

Posted at 05:33 pm by icantdance
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Oct 13, 2005

New quotes...mostly professorial. I'll update maybe once a month now

     - "Who says opera has to be boring. Whoah. Some of that is hot stuff." - Prof Plier re:Carmen

     - "It's hard not to look at that person who's sitting there sleeping." - Prof Arendt

     - "Guys are less likely to call things periwinkle?" - Prof. Abbott

     - "He's beating up Harry Potter aaahhhh!" - Prof. Haynie re:PBS David Copperfield video

     - "May you'll think I'm messed up and twisted but I thought that was hilarious" - Prof. Haynie

     -" There's no concept of 'street cred' in Charles Dickens." - Prof. Haynie

     - "I could take her though. Although she looked mean." - Prof. Haynie

     - "That's not natural...it's supernatural." - Prof. Hall

     - "You'd be entranced. Your pencils would be floating if I was that good and it was in tune." - Prof. Hall

     - "Don't go out and get a guitar and sit out in the woods and think you'll attract deer. It doesn't work. I've tried it." - Prof Hall

     - "Imagine that, a Welsh poet who liked to drink beer." - Prof. Hall

     - Student 1: We don't kill Bambis.
       Student 2: But Bambis taste good.
       Prof. Hall: Bambis do taste good.

     - "If George Bush would have just met the right fertility goddess, hurricane Katrina would never have happened." - Prof. Hall

     - "Fertile horses, that's what the Welsh need." - Prof. Hall

     - "If you're in love with someone and they don't love you back, don't become an alcoholic." - Prof. Hall

     - "That could have been the alternate version, the lesbian version of the story, which never would have been told in ancient Ireland." - Prof. Hall

     - "It's a practical joke...except he sleeps with his daughter." - Prof. Hall

     - "Pork is cool. Pork's great." - Prof. Hall

     - " 'Plumage of swans' may not be an insult to an Irishman." - Prof. Hall

     - "That's when they say 'Oh we don't need the breasts destroyed' and go to the feast." - Prof. Hall

Posted at 01:05 am by icantdance
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Apr 4, 2005

The Hallowed Halls of Academia...

Student #1: "You could've at least found a better picture of the whore. She's ugly."
Student #2: "Is it a man?"
Prof. Austin: Could be.

"I've always bragged about my cat-like reflexes. I've lost them." -Prof. Austin

"I've always bragged about my cat-like vision. Now you turn the light off and I'm like 'Shit, it's dark in here.'" -Prof. Austin

"They have this on 'Desparate Housewives'? Really!" - Prof. Austin, re: a whipping post

"The idea is that if you reward the pigeon for pecking the pigeon will peck more...there's a tongue twister in there somewhere." -Prof. Austin

"Rats will do anything for cocaine." -Prof. Austin

"It makes me think of a cash register rather than something sparkly."   -Prof. Sweet, re: "bling bling"

"Let's not overlook the phallic references here. It's not that my mind is in the gutter...at least not during class time."   -Prof. Sweet

"It's like a book club, only...a little smarter."   -Prof. Haynie

"My husband likes takng the baby out for other reasons. He takes her out without me, if you know what I mean."    -Prof. Haynie

"There are so many negative stereotypes in that ad. I found it offensive but I laughted at it."   - Prof. Haynie

"Ankles are very exciting. Very risque. That's why we professors wear these long pants."   - Prof. Haynie

"She goes the whole way...the whooolllle way. And you know what that means."    - Prof. Vescio

"This sort of thing happens in our society today. I've got evidence. I've got 'Super Nanny'.   - Prof. Vescio

"That's not much of a similarity. Yeah, they play music and they play music at orgies."   - Prof. Vescio, on a Wallace Stevens poem

"Can one have confidence and comfort when one is lying in a coffin? No!"   - Prof. Vescio

"Male American writers have a deep-seated obsession with overly-pious Christian women."   - Prof. Vescio

"What are they gonna do, play Tiddly-Winks in the shade?" - Prof. Vescio

Posted at 11:34 pm by icantdance
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Feb 15, 2005

Creative Writing...

"Don't persecute us with this kind of poetry." - Prof. Sweet

"How do you fall in love with a sea monkey?" - Prof. Sweet

"I buy Kraft. Kraft sea monkeys & cheese." - student, on the topic of whether there were different brands of sea monkeys

Posted at 11:48 pm by icantdance
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Feb 9, 2005

Spring 2005...thus far

Amanda was right when she said professors say the darndest things. In no particular order:

"It's highly unlikely that (Walt) Whitman had sex in his lifetime with anyone but himself" - Prof. Vescio

"It gives it a nice National Geographic/elementary school feel" - Prof. Haynie, about the maps on the walls

"One person's idea of romance is another person's idea of psychopath" - Prof. Haynie

"We'll be married, we'll be having our horses comingling, etc., etc." - Prof. Haynie

"I like the idea of other people doing it." - Prof. Haynie, about the Polar Bear Plunge

"Judge Judy - you hate her but you know you love her." - Prof. Austin

"In economic crisis toilet paper has saved this state. No matter how bad it gets, everybody has to wipe their ass." - Prof. Austin, on the WI paper industry

"You dress up in a funny outfit you'll never wear again...unless you're kinky." - Prof. Austin, on marriage.

Posted at 11:37 pm by icantdance
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Nov 19, 2004

Ok....I'm finally going to get out all the new ones

"The Sahara desert is one that...Are we in church? What is that?" - Prof. Yingst, as random music emanated from across the hall

"Now you have a car here..." - Prof. Yingst, drawing
"It looks like a purse with wheels" - student
"Shut up" - Prof. Yingst

"There's always some wanker in the middle of the room, like me, that changes things on purpose." - Prof. Hall, on the game Party Line/Telephone

"You're going to the McLeninoff and there's only one thing on the menu. I thought culture was a good thing. It meant Japanese on Thursday night and jazz and beer from England and Scotland." - Prof. Hall, on culture

"Do we need to baptize dogs? You could throw them in the pond or something. That'd be fun." - Prof. Hall

"If you split the world in half there really would be an edge of the Earth....Where would all the water go?" - Prof. Hall

"All of this is dancing around the idea that Hey look my Reese's peanut butter cup is still here! ...I'm sorry, my ADHD is flaring up here." - Prof Hall

"My girlfriend asked me 'Why don't you get me flowers anymore' and I said 'Because I already won your heart, I don't need to anymore'" - Prof Hall
"Ooohhhhh, wrong answer." - Andrew

Posted at 11:23 pm by icantdance
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Oct 27, 2004

Of warfare and ballads...

"You know what psychological warfare is, don't you? My girlfriend practices it on me all the time." - Prof. Hall

"Who knows what a ballad is? ...and don't you dare say Britney Spears." - Prof Hall

Posted at 01:44 am by icantdance
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Oct 13, 2004

I'm running out of good entry titles...

"But kittens getting saved out of trees is important too." - Prof. Hall

"And they have no chance in hell of picking up a graduate student. Because they're ugly. And old. And they smell." - Prof. Hall, about old profs who check out female grad students half their age

"If Jon Stewart is part of your family I'm sorry." - Prof. Hall

"That woman made them cookies. You don't kill that sort of person." - Prof. Hall

"If your house is in the way, sucks to be you." - Prof. Yingst, on volcanoes

"I'm not a walking sleeping pill." - Prof. Lorenz

"I do not have the power to marry people. So don't come to me about that. Even during office hours." - Prof. Galt

Posted at 01:07 am by icantdance
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Oct 2, 2004

New...mostly from the profs. and one from Noel

"Please turn off all cellphones and other noisemakers. If you want to put it on vibrate and put it in your pocket for fun...that's your business" - Prof Lorenz

"Amaze your friends! Identify random rocks!" - Prof Yingst

"How many left-handers do we have here? Oh good...you're special people." - Prof Lorenz

"I say 'Down with the government'. I'm an anarchist. I just don't go around burning things." - Prof. Hall

"Well sure you've got shit in your ear...*pokes finger in ear*...oh...what...I do. And here's the best place to put it, in your pocket where no one has to see it." - Prof. Hall

"Yeah, actually, hurting people is funny" - Prof Hall, in a Fahrenheit 451 discussion

"It's a prostitute who's not selling sex but intellectual curiosity...WIERD!" - Prof Hall, about the character Clarisse in Fahrenheit 451

"There's some people that don't drink at all. Then there's some people that do...like me." -Noel

Posted at 04:17 pm by icantdance
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